Considerate leadership in action

This past week, I caught the Metro into the city for a meeting and the experience has prompted me to wonder whether etiquette, courtesy, and kindness are still a high priority in our community – and, as a result, in our workplaces.

As I travelled, the carriage started to fill up until it was standing room only. An elderly lady boarded the train and not one single person got up to let her sit down. Heads buried in phones, or pointedly looking away, the only thing that roused my fellow passengers’ attention was my getting up to offer the lady my own seat, an action that was met with confusion.

Leaders are role models

We live in community with each other. Whether we’re on a train or working in a team, there are other people around us who we rely on just as much as they rely on us. I’m under no illusion that my gesture towards this lady will be some big eye-opening moment for my fellow travellers, but it’s all I can do to role model the kindness and consideration that should be par for the course in our society.

In the same way, leaders must role model the behaviour they want to see in their teams, showing everyone the importance of consideration and manners.

The dangers of culture lacking etiquette

Of course, there are old ‘rules’ and expectations that don’t apply to all workplaces anymore and many organisations are looking to move away from traditional ‘etiquette’, but this doesn’t mean that manners, kindness, and consideration have been abandoned all together.

Just recently, I spoke to a leader who was organising an external speaker to talk to his team about presence and gravitas. This move came as a result of employees turning up to meetings – both internal and externally, with clients – casually dressed, in gym gear, or with hair untamed.

While there’s something to be said for feeling comfortable at work, this approach can sacrifice professional image, and compromise the efficacy of those meetings.

Etiquette is not about having more rules to follow

Courtesy and kindness are where trust is built. Without it, fragile relationships can crumble, or not even form in the first place.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve spoken to leaders who have noticed the following situations, and are considering how to rectify them:

• One leader said that during meetings, every team member had their laptop open and was interacting with their phone, rather than paying the presentation their attention.
• Another leader noticed that one person was contributing their ideas to a meeting, but their enthusiasm caused them to talk over others and inadvertently prevented others from having the space to share their opinions and ideas.
• I spoke last year about courtesy in leadership, having noticed leaders scheduling back-to-back meetings with no breathing room or overflow time considered, causing them to run late and impacting the schedule of all those they had meetings with.
• Yet another leader observed that team members would take a break from a meeting or their work to grab a coffee. Instead of offering to pick up coffees for their teammates, each person went individually, never making an offer.

Of course, these things aren’t world shattering on their own, but repeated over time, they set a standard of behaviour that can be difficult to rectify, one that breeds a level of discord and a lack of trust.

After all, if no one pays attention to your presentation, why should you pay attention to theirs? If no one ever offers you a coffee, why would you offer one to them? If your leader consistently shows up in gym gear, you would take that as permission to do the same! If everyone is running late to meetings, it lowers the standard.

Leaders have a critical responsibility

Correcting this behaviour, and setting a different, higher standard of courtesy, consideration, and kindness in teams is the responsibility of the leader. In any workplace, it is the leader’s responsibility to maintain culture and a level of wellbeing that allows employees to thrive in the workplace.

As a leader, your job is to role model all of it – from professional dress to coffee runs – the team takes their cue from you and that standard floods through the rest of the organisation.

Want to be a leader who leads with courtesy and kindness? People Make the Difference can help. To find out more, visit www.pmtd.com.au or call us on 0412 333 415.